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Nurturing Family Connections: Overcoming Misunderstandings and Cultivating a Thriving Family Environment

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Misunderstandings
  • Navigating Misunderstandings and Fostering Harmony Within Families

  • Understanding the Root Causes of Misunderstandings and Restoring Family Peace
  • Practical Strategies for Resolving Misunderstandings and Strengthening Family Ties
  • Nurturing Family Connections: Overcoming Misunderstandings and Cultivating a Thriving Family Environment

 

Misunderstandings with Family Members

Everyone belongs to a family, this is the special place where everyone traces their roots. However, have you ever asked yourself why misunderstandings with family members are an everyday phenomenon threatening to tear away this critical unit of relationships?

Like discordant notes in a symphony, these misunderstandings can disrupt the harmony of family life, leaving us feeling hurt, frustrated, and disconnected.

In this article, we examine the causes of misunderstandings among family members and how to improve relationships with family.

We discuss these issues at a time when family members are turning against each other and the adage blood is thicker than water and no longer holds water. Brothers, sisters and parents are slaying each other leaving many with the big question: What is happening to our families?

What Are Dysfunctional Family Relationships?

Dysfunctional family relationships occur when there is a communication breakdown, resulting in unresolved conflicts and strained interactions, according to HelpGuide.org.
They can be as a result of overly critical parents, jealous siblings, or controlling in-laws.
Self-blame, anxiety, and lack of emotional support during challenging times are some of the resultant effects of dysfunctional family relationships.

What Causes Misunderstandings with family members?

Family finances: This can be in the form of inheritance disputes. Financial responsibilities, especially for firstborns, also tend to drive a wedge in family relationships. Family members who are also blessed financially also experience this type of pressure, especially in setups where everyone is dependent on them for food and other provisions.

Communication styles: Differences in communication styles contribute to misunderstandings. Misunderstanding can also erupt due to a lack of late or harsh or insensitive feedback. Some parents may also not know how best to handle teens and young adults. According to the Centre for Parent and Teen Communication, parents always have the best intentions, and it is always important to turn every misunderstanding into positive discussion.

Unmet Expectations: This includes unspoken expectations, which often cause friction. A family member may assume the other party understands their needs, and they go ahead to feel bad when someone acts in a manner they did not expect, yet they never communicated their needs to the party they now feel annoyed with.

Values and Beliefs: Clashes arise when core values are challenged or misunderstood. Belief may include religious practices, especially when a member of the family joins a religion or sect the family does not subscribe to. Misunderstandings can also crop up in families where there are cross-cultural interactions as a result of things like intermarriages or migration.

Witchcraft: Let us face it, many families have been broken after jealous neighbours or relatives use dark powers on them. It is for this reason that experts like Mugwenu Doctors exist. They issue charms and spells that are able to counter such evil missions by such agents that want to sow the seed of misunderstandings within family members.

How Can I Improve My Relationship with Difficult Family Members?

In some cases, it is important to note that some family members can develop habits that make dealing with them difficult.

Any communication made to or with them is received with rebellion or contempt.
How do you deal with such people to ensure you live in harmony?
Listen actively: Always try to give your full attention without judgment. Empathetic listening will always foster understanding.
Use “I” statements: Avoid blame and accusation. Express your feelings using “I” statements.
Express your needs clearly: This helps to reduce unmet expectations. You need to be specific about your emotions and requirements. Communicate them well and avoid assuming people know and understand your needs. They are not angels.
Understand the underlying causes: Dig deeper to uncover the root of the misunderstanding. Look at the background of the problem or even the background of the person you have issues with. This will help you understand the motive behind some actions.
Acknowledge and apologise: Sincere apologies rebuild trust. When you are wrong, say sorry. It does not hurt to say sorry. Pride and arrogance not to say sorry hurts. Sometimes, especially when it involves couples or parents, saying sorry is important even when you are not at fault.
Example: “I apologise for my harsh words. I didn’t mean to hurt you.
Focus on solutions: Prioritize finding resolutions. This is more important than winning arguments.
Agree to disagree: Accept differing opinions when necessary. Respecting differences maintains family harmony.
Seek professional help: Consider counselling or mediation for complex issues. You can reach out to experts like Mugwenu Doctors, religious leaders, professional counsellors, village elders or other families that have a good reputation. However, do not forget everyone has their own issues. It is important to start fixing the issues at a domestic level and only seek other people when things threaten to snowball out of control. Professional guidance can break communication barriers.
Avoid people-pleasing: Verywellmind warns against the habit of people-pleasing, which many family members may develop as a way to avoid or cope with conflict. This habit hurts in the long run since it involves constantly putting other people ahead of yourself.

How can I tell if my family relationship is toxic?

Identifying a toxic family relationship can be challenging, but it’s essential for your well-being.
Watch out for the following signs:
Unrealistic standards: Being expected to take on adult responsibilities at a young age, such as parenting younger siblings or providing emotional support, could be a sign of toxicity, according to Healthline.

Defensiveness and lack of apology: According to Webmd, this involves having to constantly defend yourself and even after that, you rarely receive any apologies even when it is clear the other party is outrightly in the wrong.

When you are feeling devalued: When you are consistently giving more than you receive and feeling emotionally depleted; this is a sign u need to rethink the relationship.
Disrespect and attack: if you are feeling consistently disrespected, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked by family members. This is a bad cue. It means you need to stop and seek help, which could include cutting ties temporarily or permanently.

Harsh criticism: Consistently receiving harsh and unfair criticism that makes you feel inferior or unloved is a bad direction.
Manipulation and confusion: Being manipulated by family members is not good. Manipulation that leaves you feeling confused and anxious could leave you with stress and even health problems. It is time to set clear boundaries.
Unmet needs: Regularly going without basic needs like food, clean clothes, or emotional support is a sign that you need not to ignore.

How can I set boundaries with toxic family members?

Setting boundaries with toxic family members is essential for your well-being.
The following strategies will be of help as you embark on identifying and cutting off such family members who cause misunderstandings with family members.

It will however come with some guilt which you will need to know how to cope with.
Identify your boundaries: Reflect on what you need and where you feel uncomfortable. You need to be clear about your limits before communicating them. Be ready to decline requests from toxic friends and families. This could include parents.
Communicate clearly: Express your boundaries clearly and calmly. It is important to avoid assumptions; don’t assume the family member already knows. Go for assertive language without blame or defensiveness. Avoid overexplaining, and be sure to stick to facts, according to Allure.

Stick to your boundaries consistently: Remember that boundaries are about self-care, not about pleasing people. Once you have set a boundary, maintain it consistently. Don’t compromise unless it is very necessary.
Limit contact: Once you have identified people who cause misunderstandings with family members, reduce interactions with them. You have the right to protect your emotional well-being.
Avoid toxic interactions: Toxic behaviours includes manipulation, blame, lying, and judgment. Avoid them like a plague. You can redirect conversations or disengage when toxicity comes to the fore.

How can I cope with the guilt of setting boundaries?

Dealing with guilt when setting boundaries is challenging, no need to lie, especially when it involves family.
Nonetheless, it’s essential for your well-being. Below are some strategies to help you navigate the process:
Acknowledge your worth: Remind yourself that you deserve healthy boundaries. You are not selfish if you are prioritising your needs, Psychology Today states.
Change your role: Shift from being a people-pleaser to someone who respects their limits. Understand that saying “no” doesn’t make you unkind. It makes you true to yourself. You become authentic.
Make time for yourself: If you prioritise others over you, guilt will hit you once you decide to start putting yourself first. Taking care of your emotional health will benefit everyone around you.
Apply the boundaries gradually: When setting your boundaries, start small and also ensure they are reasonable boundaries, even if this triggers guilt in the initial stages. With each successful boundary that you set, you can be sure that the feeling of guilt will reduce over time, as stated by Psychology Today.

Conclusion

A family is a critical unit in the society. However, misunderstandings with family members will always be there and learning how to avoid and deal with this phenomenon is essential.

Remember that financial issues, unmet expectations and communication breakdowns are among the factors that contribute to misunderstanding with family members.

By employing strategies like active listening, expressing needs clearly and focusing on solutions rather than arguing is vital when it comes to taming misunderstandings with family members.

Be sure to identify your boundaries and stick to them when dealing with toxic family members. However, even as you set boundaries, be ready to deal with some guilt. Prioritising your health is nonetheless more important than the temporary feeling of guilt.

Remember, some family misunderstandings can be caused by witchcraft.

Contact experts like Mugwenu Doctors on +254740637248. They have over 25 years of experience in dealing with family misunderstandings.
Email: mugwenudoctors@gmail.com
Website: www.mugwenudoctors.com

 

Kenya Exposed allows guest blogging, if you want to be published on Kenya’s most authoritative and accurate blog, have an expose, news TIPS, story angles, human interest stories, drop us an email on: exposednews50@gmail.com. Follow us on Twitter and Facebook page.

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Make the Most of Your April Holiday with Xiaomi Kenya’s Redmi A3: Unveiling the Perfect Surprise

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Redmi A3

Xiaomi has recently unveiled the Redmi A3, which is being touted as the ultimate present to give during the April Holiday season. This new addition to the Redmi smartphone lineup is specifically designed for entry-level users, offering a sleek and fashionable design. With its large and high refresh rate display, AI dual camera, and various other features, the Redmi A3 takes the user experience to new heights of both functionality and sophistication.

Making style its central priority, Redmi A3 addresses the preferences of users seeking an affordable yet elegant glass design, as well as those who prefer a more subdued finish. Under bright light, the back panel of the Midnight Black is designed to resemble stars in the night sky, while the Star Blue variant reflects a rainbow-like sheen that exudes sophistication and class. Redmi A3 is also available in Forest Green1, featuring a smudge-resistant, matte, leather-textured back design that exudes rationality and refinement.

Redmi A3

All Redmi A3 models feature a large, circular, finely detailed camera deco that presents a different sheen depending on the angle of refraction and lighting environment. Moreover, with an 8.3mm2 ultra-slim body for an excellent in-hand feel, Redmi A3 feels reassuringly robust, sleek, and crafted for optimal comfort.
Redmi A3 brings high-definition video and social media content with a large 6.71-inch HD+ display that offers a refresh rate of up to 90Hz3 to deliver a silky smooth, immersive experience that defies its price-point. Screen durability is ensured with Corning® Gorilla® Glass 3 display protection, while enhanced eye-care protection is provided by DC dimming that reduces exposure to blue light and overall flicker.

 

Users on a budget can still enjoy the upgraded AI dual camera system with 8MP main camera supported by an auxiliary lens that enables stunning portrait shots. Users can also take advantage of film Camera, which allows them to preview scenes using several filter effects in real-time before taking the shot, a feature previously exclusive to Redmi Note devices. A 5MP front camera is bolstered by a beautifier that smooths skin tone, and a soft-light ring that brightens selfie shots in low light conditions.

Every effort has been made to ensure reliable user experience, with Redmi A3 supporting advanced security features that include both Face Unlock4, and Fingerprint Unlock via a fast and responsive side-mounted fingerprint sensor. Featuring a convenient 3.5mm headphone jack, Redmi A3 is also equipped with a USB Type-C 10W charging port5. Sporting a large 5000mAh (typ) battery, Redmi A3 will keep pace with users throughout the day and beyond, delivering up to 29 hours of call time6, and up to 17 hours of video playback6. Redmi A3 has also been rigorously tested to deliver outstanding physical durability, completing roller testing (300 times)6 and USB durability testing (10,000 times)6.


Delivering ample performance and power efficiency, Redmi A3 is powered by an octa-core MediaTek Helio G36 processor, and is available in 3GB+64GB, and 4GB+128GB configurations. Extended memory technology expands available RAM to up to 8GB7, ensuring slick app loading and switching, while additional data storage is available via a microSD slot, which supports microSD cards of up to 1TB8.
Redmi A3 is available in Midnight Black and Star Blue1, in 3GB+64GB, and 4GB+128GB memory and storage configurations, and will be available starting from KES 11,599

Kenya Exposed allows guest blogging, if you want to be published on Kenya’s most authoritative and accurate blog, have an expose, news TIPS, story angles, human interest stories, drop us an email on: exposednews50@gmail.com. Follow us on Twitter and Facebook page.

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Court Orders Rogue, Notorious Fraudster Jared Otieno to Forteit his high end car to State

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Jared Otieno
  • Court orders businessman Jared Otieno to forfeit high-end car to state

The High Court has ordered businessman Jared Kiasa Otieno to forfeit his high-end car to the state in an application made by the Assets Recovery Authority (ARA).

ARA had sought to have Otieno surrender two vehicles, a Porsche Panamera KCD 966L and a Bentley Continental GT 2019 KCU 966C, to the state for allegedly being proceeds of crime.

“It is therefore my finding that the applicant has proved on a balance of probabilities that the motor vehicle KCU 966C is a proceed of crime,” said Justice Esther Maina.

Justice Maina however noted that she could not deliver a judgement concerning the Porsche Panamera, since a ruling issued by Justice John Onyiego on November 20, 2019, had been appealed at the Court of Appeal by ARA.

In his ruling, Justice Onyiego found that the vehicle was not tied to any criminal activity and was therefore not a proceed of crime.

The two vehicles were registered under two firms associated with Otieno namely; Cleanen Limited and Yugni Holdings Limited.

ARA told the court that Otieno is allegedly part of an international syndicate which has been in existence since 2013 and had fraudulently obtained money from investors on pretence they had precious metals including gold for sale

The agency in 2019 began investigating the businessman’s activities since 2014 with the view of identifying, tracing, freezing and forfeiture of proceeds of crime.

ARA claimed that Otieno acquired the two vehicles to conceal and disguise the nature, source, location and disposition of funds from unlawful activities through proxies and third parties including a law firm.

He was charged at the Milimani Magistrates Court with conspiracy to defraud, obtaining money by false pretence and counterfeiting.

The High Court heard that he had no source of legitimate income owing to filing nil tax returns with the Kenya Revenue Authority (KRA) during the period that he acquired the cars.

ARA submitted that the Bentley cost USD 453,907.83 (Sh20 million at the time) while the Porsche which cost Sh16 million was initially registered in Otieno’s name before it was transferred to Cleanen Limited.

The price of the vehicle has appreciated owing to the depreciation of the Kenyan shilling against the dollar.

ARA accused Otieno of trying to transfer the ownership of the Bentley to Yugni Holdings to disrupt and evade investigations to conceal, hide and disguise its ownership.

Justice Maina heard that the businessman was allegedly involved in a scheme to defraud Simoung Company Limited and then held a meeting with the company’s director Sounthorn Chantavong.

Corporal Jeremiah Sautet on behalf of ARA said that after obtaining orders to probe the law firm, he established that after the meeting, Simoung transferred USD 3,052,281 in two instalments to Otieno’s accounts.

He told the court that Victoria Achieng’ Ramogi withdrew USD 90,000 from the account in two instalments as business income and she went ahead to make 15 suspicious withdrawals.

According to Sautet, Otieno paid for the vehicles in installments between March 2018 and April 2019 and the law firm acted on his behalf.

He said that the businessman transferred the ownership of the Bentley after he was arraigned and charged in court and this raised suspicion and reasonable ground to believe it had been purchased using proceeds of crime.

Sautet further told court that Otieno’s move to file nil returns with KRA since 2014 showed he had no taxable income yet the two motor vehicles are valued at Sh62.1 million and this formed ground to seek their forfeiture.

Otieno opposed the application saying that he is an honest businessman with lawful dealings locally and internationally.

He said that he was tax-compliant and even produced a compliance certificate as proof, arguing that ARA had not demonstrated a causal link between the criminal case and the vehicles.

“It is my finding that by filing a nil tax return the respondent was saying that he had not generated any income during that period, which period includes that which he acquired the vehicle,” said Justice Maina.

Otieno denied having dealings with the complainant in the criminal case at the Magistrates Court, saying that he was neither a party nor a witness to the transaction and loan agreement that is subject to the case.

He argued that the only nexus between him and Rose Adhiambo Omamo was that they shared a law firm.

The businessman said that he purchased the Porsche in 2015, four years before he was charged in the criminal case and the decision to register the vehicles in the companies was in good faith.

He further argued that the money that was used to pay for the Bentley was a commission that he had earned from a land transaction between Kanaiya Ole Rotiken Sapuru and Euro Ceramics Limited.

ARA through their lawyer said that their application’s burden of proof was on a balance of probabilities.

 The High Court ordered businessman Jared Otieno to forfeit his high-end car. [iStockphoto]

The lawyer submitted that they had attached an evidential burden of proof for Otieno to demonstrate how he came into possession of the property in question.

Otieno’s lawyers told the court that ARA did not attach new evidence for the forfeiture of the Porsche, whose ruling they challenged at the Court of Appeal.

They said that the agency had not submitted the correlation between the alleged USD 3,000,000 that their client allegedly received and is subject to criminal proceedings to the said vehicles.

While faulting ARA they said the agency started probing their client in 2019 yet the Bentley was purchased using a commission he earned in a land transaction in 2018 totaling to Sh22 million.

According to the lawyers, ARA had failed to link Otieno with any criminal activities and that the application was premised on mere suspicion and postulation.

The judge noted that Otieno’s initial affidavit had not indicated where he got the money to buy the Bentley and he only did so in a supplementary affidavit, and his lawyers did not seek leave before filing.

“There is also nothing on the record to prove that the affidavit was served upon the Applicant,” said the judge.

“Any pleading filed without the leave of the court is fodder for striking out and the Respondent’s Supplementary Replying Affidavit must be and is hereby struck out.”

She noted that striking out the supplementary affidavit left Otieno with no evidence to prove the source of the funds and even if she did not do so he did not give evidence that he acted as an agent let alone that he was licensed to do so.

“He did not also produce an agreement that he was to receive a commission,” said the judge.

Justice Maina found that there was no evidence to prove that Otieno was engaged in lawful business, as evidenced by his nil tax returns and there was no admissible evidence of him earning the commission.

Kenya Exposed allows guest blogging, if you want to be published on Kenya’s most authoritative and accurate blog, have an expose, news TIPS, story angles, human interest stories, drop us an email on: exposednews50@gmail.com. Follow us on Twitter and Facebook page.

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Breaking News: Kelvin Kang’ethe, Murder Suspect, Faces 21 More Days in Detention

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Kelvin

Murder suspect Kelvin Kang’ethe has 21 days to make his formal application for bail and bond so that the courts can decide whether to release him or not before his extradition proceedings are concluded.

Kang’ethe is wanted in the US for the murder of his lover Margaret Mbitu whose body was found in their car at the Boston International Airport.

Chief Magistrate Lucas Onyina on Wednesday ordered him to file the application accompanied by affidavits after he hired another lawyer to represent him.

Kang’ethe had previously fired his lawyers after a falling out and alleged torture by police and prison officers while in custody.

His new lawyer John Ndengwa Maina had requested more time to receive instructions from the suspect since they met on Wednesday and didn’t have sufficient time

The lawyer claimed that his client is currently detained unlawfully since the custodial orders issued on February 14 ended on February 29 and the Office of the Directorate of Public Prosecutions (ODPP) didn’t seek an extension of the same.

Kang’ethe was remanded at the Nairobi Area Remand and Allocation Prison pending application for bail after the ODPP requested he be held at the facility, following his escape from Mûthaiga police station where he had earlier been remanded.

His advocate also claimed that prison authorities are holding Kang’ethe at the maximum security side of the prison despite orders that he should be detained at the medium section.

Maina said Kangethe is struggling in prison as he’s always handcuffed even when going to the toilets.

But Onyina said the court cannot revise the detention orders and ordered that Kang’ethe remain at the facility until April 4 when the case will be mentioned for directions.

The suspect, 41, fled from the US after the murder of Mbitu on November 1, 2023.

He was arrested in Nairobi, early in February while leaving a club, after a manhunt, and detained at the Muthaiga Police Station.

Kang’ethe later escaped from the Muthaiga station, where he was to be held for 30 days ahead of possible extradition, under unclear circumstances.

He was re-arrested in Ngong a week later and remanded to the Nairobi Area Remand and Allocation Prison in the Industrial Area by Milimani Chief Magistrate Lucas Onyina.

Kenya Exposed allows guest blogging, if you want to be published on Kenya’s most authoritative and accurate blog, have an expose, news TIPS, story angles, human interest stories, drop us an email on: exposednews50@gmail.com. Follow us on Twitter and Facebook page.

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